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All Moyes needs is (Donald) Love! The Transfer Tails of Black Cats and Wolves

By on August 11, 2016

Black Cats and Wolves are associated with mythical creatures, witches and the like, but they are also the nicknames of English football clubs that have undergone giant changes this summer, both on and off the field.

Premier League strugglers Sunderland and Championship outfit Wolverhampton Wanderers are each hoping their summer acquisitions can inspire a Golden season, but too much Medalling from foreign owners often leaves their fans feeling as green as an Olympic diving pool. Will the two clubs be chasing their tails come the end of the new campaign or will they achieve their goals of Finding Glory? Richard Lewis reviews:

All Moyes needs is Love! (with McNair and Djilobodji)

David Moyes has completed three new signings since taking the helm at the Stadium of Light, raiding top rejects from Premier League big-boys such as Chelsea and Moyes’ former employers Manchester United to boost Sunderland’s squad.

Papy Djilobodji was the Mackems’ first signing of the summer, leaving the Antonio Conte revolution for the Blacks Cats after a loan spell with Werder Bremen. Djilobodji managed a grand total of one minute of first team football action for Chelsea last year, but somehow the West Londoners still managed to turn double their profits on the Senegalese international in under twelve months.

Reportedly, Chelsea only signed Djilobodji from Nantes because they could not get John Stones from Everton last season, with the English defender making the £47.5 million switch to Blues rivals Manchester City for this year.

Yet fourteen solid appearances on loan in Germany, which included two goals from centerback, apparently impressed Sunderland enough to shell out £8 million for Djilbodji, who will wear the number five shirt with the Blacks Cats.

Moyes has brought in two other defenders from Manchester United this summer in an attempt to solidify Sunderland’s leaky back-line, with Jose Mourinho letting twenty-one-year-old FA Community Shield winners Paddy McNair and Donald Love depart for a combined fee of £5.5million. It’s chump change comparison to the cash paid for the world record £89 million Paul Pogba transfer from Juventus and Moyes will indeed see it as a bargain for two promising young defenders.

McNair impressed under Louis van Gaal his breakthrough season in 2014 but both players are taking their chances elsewhere with the signing of Eric Bailly clouding them out of the first team picture.

Sunderland, certainly, are hoping that all they need is Donald Love. Here’s my parody song on the Scottish defender to the tune of “All You Need is Love” by the Beatles:

All You Need Is Donald Love:

Donald Love, Love, Love, Love, Love, Love, Love, Love, Love.

There’s nothing you can get through that can’t be fun.
Nothing you can win that can’t be won.
Nothing you can play, but you can earn
How to play the game
It’s easy.

Nothing you can break that can’t be played.
No goalkeeper can save shots that can’t be saved.
Nothing you can get through, but you can earn
How to be you in stoppage time
It’s easy.

All you need is Donald Love, all you need is Donald Love,
All you need is Donald Love, Love. Donald Love is all you need.
Donald Love, Love, Love, Love, Love, Love, Love, Love, Love.
All you need is Donald Love, all you need is Donald Love,
All you need is Donald Love, Love. Donald Love is all you need.

By Richard Lewis feat. The Beatles.

Chinese Owners are Hungry like the Wolves!

Wolverhampton Wanderers were recently taken over by a Chinese consortium, who were willing to put the money where their mouth is in hopes of promotion back to the promised land of the Premier League. They’re the third Championship club based in the Midlands to be bought by Chinese owners, alongside local rivals Aston Villa and Birmingham.

Manager Kenny Jacket was quickly ejected and replaced by Italian boss Walter Zenga, who will be playing a game of Jenga in terms of balancing a squad mixed with marquee signings and young British players.

Wolves drew their first Championship match of 2016/17 in a 2-2 result against Rotherham, with new Wolves striker Jon Dadi Bodvarsson scoring on his club debut. The twenty-four-year-old recently completed a £2.7 million move from German side Kaiserslautern after an impressive Euro 2016 tournament with Iceland (you might have heard of them, especially if you are English!), having scored against Austria in France.

Bodvarsson is the fourth new addition for Hull this summer after Joao Teixeira, on a season-long loan from Benfica, Helder Costa, and Silvio, and became the 1000th player to appear in a league game for Wolves last Saturday afternoon.

However, the big story brewing in the Championship is the potential for Wolves to smash the second tier transfer record, with newspaper reports suggesting a £20 million move for former Liverpool target and exciting Benfica midfielder Anderson Talisca is on the cards. Newcastle are still favorites to win the league despite losing 1-0 to Fulham in their opening game, but Talisca could potentially give Wolves the firepower to challenge the Magpies this year. Derby Country forward Chris Martin (not from Coldplay!) has also been linked with a £5 million move to Wolves.

Here is a parody song of the Duran Duran classic “Hungry Like The Wolf” about how Wolves look set to be transformed under their new Chinese owners and high-profile signings from Portugal:

Hungry Like The Wolves:

In touch with the groundsman
I’m on Stephen Hunt I’m after you
Smell like a pound, I’m lost in Molineux crowd
And I’m hungry for promotion like the Wolves
Straddle the by line in discord from the board
I’m on Stephen Hunt I’m after you
Championship is alive with battles like vintage wine
And I’m hungry for promotion like the Wolves

By Richard Lewis feat. Duran Duran.

Homepage photo credit: Giovanni Batista Rodriguez [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons

About Richard Lewis

Richard Lewis can relate almost anything to football and quite often does! You may have seen Richard's previous ideas and work in the BBC Match of the Day Magazine, from 2011 to present. He is a Manchester United and England fan, but has gone to see Leyton Orient play with his O's season ticket in the 2013/14 campaign. Aside from football, Richard has written articles on Doctor Who and studies English Language and Linguistics at the University of Westminster. Aspiring sports journalist.